


Sleep Well Angel

by thefangirlingdead



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, levi has feelings too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 13:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefangirlingdead/pseuds/thefangirlingdead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you alright, Levi?" The question sounds foreign on his tongue. He can't remember the last time he asked one of his scouts - let alone Levi - if they were okay. They're just expected to hold it together, to be prepared to go through anything. To be alright.</p>
<p>But it's a question that Erwin can't help asking. Levi hasn't lost anyone - any of his men at least - in years. And to lose his whole squad at once, over a seemingly useless mission...</p>
<p>Well, Erwin cares about Levi. Sometimes more than he’ll admit out loud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleep Well Angel

**Author's Note:**

> _I'm gonna hold your hand 'til it's over_   
> _We're gonna make it through tonight_   
> _And if the devil's still beside you_   
> _Then, sweetheart, so am I._
> 
> \- [Sleep Well Angel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qi7MlMGNg-A) \- Daybreaker  
> (I highly suggest listening to that song while reading. I love it and I feel like it's a good fit)

Levi is silent for the entire ride back. Well, save for a few harsh words he throws at a couple of the newer scouts, but other than that, Levi is silent. He's silent when they finally make it through the gate, and he's silent even when Petra's father comes to thank him for bringing her home safely, unable to tell him what really happened.

When the remaining members of the Scout Regiment finally make it back home, they all head back to their quarters, either exhausted or injured or just in shock. Levi separates from the group, making a bee line toward his own room, but Erwin stops him with a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Levi," He murmurs, voice quiet, only loud enough for his Captain to hear, "Can I see you in my room?"

Levi pauses, step faltering for just a moment before he straightens his back. "No." His response is short and hard, and it actually catches Erwin off guard.

He opens his mouth to argue - to tell Levi that it's an _order_ \- but he's cut off.

"Not now," He explains, without even so much as a glance in Erwin’s direction. He's still staring straight ahead, eyes hard. "I need to clean this shit off of me."

Erwin nods, understanding, "But afterward-"

"Yeah," Levi mutters, bowing his head slightly, "I'll be there."

When Levi does arrive at Erwin's room, it's an hour later and his hair is still damp. He lets himself in without even so much as a knock on the door and leans against it, arms crossed, once it's shut behind him.

"You wanted to see me?" He asks, expression unchanging even as he watches Erwin rise from where he sits at his desk, crossing the room until they're standing only a few feet apart. He still wears that same hard expression, and sometimes that look _kills_ Erwin. Even after years of working together - _years_ of Levi trusting him without a doubt, and years of stolen kisses and nights spent together - Erwin still can't tell what Levi is thinking underneath that mask.

Now is one of the few times that Erwin wishes he would drop it, even just for a second.

_Let me in, Levi._

Erwin studies his Captain for a few more moments - he's still leaning against the door, arms crossed, eyes uninterested, as if he couldn't care less - before he speaks.

"Are you alright, Levi?" The question sounds foreign on his tongue. He can't remember the last time he asked one of his scouts - let alone _Levi_ \- if they were okay. They're just expected to hold it together, to be prepared to go through anything. _To be alright_.

But it's a question that Erwin can't help asking. Levi hasn't lost anyone - any of his men at least - in _years_. And to lose his whole squad at once, over a seemingly useless mission...

Well, Erwin cares about Levi. Sometimes more than he’ll admit out loud. And he needs to know.

Levi narrows his eyes in response. "I'm fine."

" _Levi_ ," Erwin pushes, "You lost your entire squad today."

He doesn't want to push. He hates pushing. If Levi had a problem - if there was something wrong - he'd make it known. But still...

"So?"

For some reason, the one word strikes a chord in Erwin. Though he's knowingly sent countless men and women to their death, this is different. These were _Levi's_ men.

"They were your friends," Erwin tries, taking a step forward, "It's alright if-"

"They were my _comrades_ ," Levi replies before he has a chance to finish, "Not my friends. And I'm fine."

Erwin eyes him for a moment, trying to understand what's going on underneath that mask of Levi's, but when he can't he tries to push one last time.

" _Levi-"_

"They knew what they were getting themselves into when they joined the corps," Levi bites, cutting him off again, "They were prepared to give their lives and they did. Nobody here gets to die a peaceful death. I'm fine. Drop it, Erwin."

And at those words, Erwin's forced to do exactly that, or risk Levi walking out.

He nods, "Fine."

If anyone else in the Scout Regiment were to see their exchange, they'd question Erwin's power as Commander. But nobody does. It's just him and Levi, alone in his room, and Erwin allows him to talk to him like that. Allows him to speak freely.

After a long beat of silence, Erwin speaks again.

"I'm glad you're alright."

And at that, Levi finally cracks a small, almost unnoticeable smile. "When am I not?"

With that - with the little crack in the mask - Erwin takes it as his cue to step forward, closing the gap between them at last. His fingers just gently brush Levi's hips as he bows his head down, catching Levi's lips in a soft, quick kiss. And while Levi's arms remain crossed between them, he leans into the kiss, tilting his head up and letting his eyes fall closed.

Erwin pulls away after a moment, but his hands remain on Levi's waist, keeping their bodies close. And when Levi finally opens his eyes again, they're narrowed in Erwin's direction. He scrunches his nose.

"You smell like shit."

Erwin cracks a small smile, chuckling softly, "Sorry."

"You should be," Levi retorts, "It's disgusting."

"I'll change," Erwin says, stepping away from Levi at that, smile still playing on his lips, "If it'll help."

"Probably not," He hears Levi say from behind him, with just a hint of a teasing tone in his voice, "But you can try."

And as Erwin reaches into the closet for a clean pair of clothes, he's surprised to hear the doorknob turning from across the room, the door squeaking on its hinges as Levi pulls it open.

"Where are you going?" Erwin asks, turning to glance at him.

"To bed," Levi replies. His hand lingers on the doorknob, but he doesn't turn to face Erwin as he speaks, "I'm exhausted."

"Stay the night," Erwin offers without skipping a beat, and at _that_ Levi turns to look at him. He clears his throat, straightening up his posture a bit. "We've been summoned to the Capital. Who knows when we'll have the luxury of sleeping in our own beds again."

Levi snorts. "You mean the luxury of sharing a bed."

"That too," Erwin replies, offering a small smile. And when it looks like Levi is considering it, he adds a small, "Please?"

Levi sighs, shutting the door behind himself again. "Yeah. Fine. Only if you wash that fucking shit off of you first."

* * *

 

An hour later, the two of them find themselves laying in Erwin's bed, clothes shed, legs tangled underneath the thin blankets. Erwin lies on his side, back facing Levi, and Levi lies on his back, arms behind his head, eyes wide open. It's silent in the room, save for Erwin's soft breathing, but Levi is wide awake. 

Every time he closes his eyes, he's met with the awful, bloody images from earlier that day. When he closes his eyes, all he can see is his entire squad, dead and bloody on the forest floor.

No matter what he does, he can't rid himself of the images in his head. Can't rid himself of the guilt. That if he would have been there - had he not lingered behind with Erwin - they may still be alive.

Now, as he struggles to fall asleep, their lifeless faces are crystal clear in his head.

He let them down, just like countless men and women before them. Just like countless soldiers he sent to their death.

Only, they mattered to him. They meant something to him. They were his comrades, his squad.

_His friends._

Levi reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose and when he does his fingers tremble, shaking before he forces them to move. His body feels numb. His throat feels thick, sticky. His chest heavy. And he worries that if he says anything, he'll cry for the first time in a long time.

Still, he clears his throat.

" _Erwin_?" His voice is quiet, barely above a whisper. And for a split second, he worries that Erwin won't hear him. That he'll be alone with his thoughts and the images in his head, and -

"Hmm?" Erwin's response is sleepy, more than likely half awake, but there, nonetheless.

Levi is silent for a long beat, and Erwin turns over after a moment to face him. But still, Levi can't look at him. Not now, not even in the dim light of the bedroom. He stares up at the ceiling, and before he even says anything, he can feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

When he speaks, his voice cracks. The mask drops.

"I'm not okay."

He half excepts Erwin to leave. To ridicule him for allowing that emotion to show. He knows - and Erwin knows - that it's the most he's ever opened up to anyone.

He feels vulnerable.

But without missing a beat, Erwin leans in close, wrapping an arm around his waist. He presses a kiss to his temple, murmuring, " _I know_ ," against his dark hair.

Levi swallows hard, " _Erwin_ -"

"It's okay," Erwin says, cutting him off and shushing him softly, "It's alright. I know."

And at that, Levi allows himself to turn, curling in against Erwin, head resting on his chest, fingers shakily gripping anything he can reach. He lets out a silent sob, and Erwin reaches out, stroking his hair softly.

"It's okay, Levi," He murmurs, voice soft and comforting, "I've got you, it's okay."

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time writing for this pairing, so I hope I did them justice.   
> I was just having feelings and figured Levi should have some too.


End file.
